2005-10-25 3:53 p.m.
16 Years Ago
My 16th Anniversary is coming up. Time is just flying by. I can't believe how fast it goes. My daughter is 15 and I remember being 15. It was a pivotal time for me. 10th grade was both uplifting and depressing all at the same time. Isn't that weird?
I digress. 16 years ago things were so different. Right about now I would have finally been feeling like myself again. I would have been about 4 months pregnant and I had been very very sick. I had lost over 20 lbs and had an IV that had to be changed every 2 to 3 days. I felt like a pin cushion. However right around now they took it out and I was finally able to go back to work and walk around without being tethered to an IV pole. No more beeping at night. No more heprin after a shower or whenever I disconnected (that stuff burned). No more bruises. I'd love to say no more vomiting, but I still did that. That "morning" sickness crap sucked! I think I was allergic to being pregnant.
We were suppose to be married in January, but we pushed everything up when we got pregnant. I had already bought my dress before I got pregnant and in fact we had most things already planned. Luckily it all moved (to November) easily. Oddly the wedding almost planned itself. I probably didn't have enough flowers but everything else was nice. My dress had some major alterations. I remember going for a fitting and thinking I wouldn't fit into it, but because I had lost so much weight it really wasn't too bad. They let it out in the middle and took it in in other places. You couldn't even tell I was pregnant, but everyone knew. It couldn't be a secret since I was so sick. I remember them bustling the dress for alterations and someone had to catch me. I fell backwards and didn't even realize what was going on. (I was dizzy a lot.) That didn't happen at the reception though.
We had a quick church ceremony and a reception of about 80 people at a restaurant that no longer exists. I wish I knew if the food had been good. It was roast beef and it was the rarest beef I had ever seen. I only ate the potatoes and the veggies. I understand our bartender was drunk and fixing very strong drinks. Even my mother was tipsy. No I didn't drink. The photographer kept taking us away. I was a little upset about that. I only got to dance to 2 songs: 1) Our wedding dance: You're the Inspiration and 2) a friend's choice: I'm So Horny. Yes we danced to that one in front of everyone and I vowed to get him back, but I was unsuccessful. He knew we were thinking of getting him back at his wedding.
I have lots of beautiful photographs from that day. Some many of those people are gone from my life now. My Dad, grandmom, and 2 great Aunts are dead now. My friend's father was there and he's dead now. An Uncle who was the token black man (hopefully he didn't feel that way, he was a great guy ... told the best stories) is divorced from my Aunt now. My best friend broke up with the guy she took a couple years after we married (It was a good thing) and now she lives in Florida. dh doesn't even talk to the best man anymore. They used to be in business together and he did something underhanded to my dh. Not a nice guy. Another one of dh's good friend's broke up with his girlfriend a number of years after we married. (It was also a good thing. Great thing even, since I'm good friends with his wife now.) Oddly there are a few friends (one of which was a bride's maid) that I no longer talk to. It wasn't intentional, just sorta happened. Actually I let it happen. I invited them for dinner and one would never reciprocate and the other would cancel, so I just gave up. I was the matron of honor at the one's wedding. They are coming up on 16 years too, assuming they are still together.
Things change. I do wish I had been able to figure out what wasn't quite right about those relationships. Was it cause we were married and now family was more important or did I actually hurt someone's feelings?
I'm glad dh and I are still together even if we are still having a tiff. He's a great guy. I just think he feels I take him for granted. I need to get or do something nice for our anniversary. I'm sure me in nothing but a bow would be good, but I want to do something more. I'll have to think about it. Any suggestions?