2012-12-25 6:19 p.m.
Christmas 2012
Merry Christmas!
It was quiet today. Just the 4 of us. The rest of the family (a whooping 10 of us) were here yesterday. It was awkward as usual. dh had to pick up fil, he is no longer allowed to drive at night. He's a good guy. Much more talkative when my mother isn't here. He ended up with heartburn though. I guess he shouldn't have had the shrimp.
Mom came and was in a good mood to start, but after gifts was ... grumpy I guess. To be honest she was normal. I didn't really get her anything. We bought a curio for her apartment last month. That's really all we could do. I don't know if she remembers that. Sis got her shoes and a purse organizer. Frankly I question those gifts. Mom is very picky about shoes. You would think sis would remember that. And Mom doesn't know what to do with a purse organizer. I got the same gifts. I might use the purse thing, but the no way on the shoes. I have planters facistsis (or whatever) and I can barely wear my sneakers. Luckily dd2 took the shoes. Hopefully she really liked them. sis used to be good at gifts, but not so much the last few years. I think she gives stuff she wants. I shouldn't complain. I gave her some cash and a cat toy.
dh gave me a dehydrator, a Star Trek door bell and beautiful earrings. I am very happy. dd1 gave me bowling shoes and dd2 gave me a Star Wars Pen. I love them both. I was hoping dh would like the Compound bow, but I think he wanted a cross bow. They were more expensive.
Mom moved last month and she had seemed much worse. I think I should find another doctor. I also think she has FTD now. The more I read, the more I think that. She seems overwhelmed by everything and yet in the same breath, doesn't seem to care. She is remembering things at the place she is, but doesn't seem to understand the schedule will change each month and she gets slight details wrong all the time. Her medicine got increased and she says she noticed, but she didn't seem to do anything about it. I'm just confused.
I don't know. I wish I knew what to think. I wish this wasn't so hard. Meaning I wish my relationship with her wasn't so hard.
I yelled at my coworker the other day. I'm not sure he will talk to me again. He was driving me nuts and I finally told him. He seemed very surprised. I suspect that means things will be awkward between us from now on. That was not really my intention. I think he is probably a nice guy, but he wasn't doing his job and he was expecting me to remember all the details and check his work all the time. WTF! He hounded me for 2 weeks to get this specific part of the job done, something I was told I had a month to do. He told anyone who would listen that I wasn't done (and apparently he couldn't do anything). When I was done, ahead of schedule, it took him 2 hours to finish and he released his work. 2 hours??? He barely even tested the work. And he didn't read my note to make sure he included some minor details. I'm not sure I should stay at this place. Of course just when I think that I meet with my boss and he says I'm doing a great job. He gave me the same bonus I got last year even though he got 50% less of a budget. I wish I could be more comfortable and not so stressed. I'm not sure it's work though. I think I'm just stressed, period. I don't know when I became this person, this person who can't sleep on Christmas Eve, who worries that everything she does is just not good enough. I know I do somethings well. Maybe someday ...