2005-06-01 8:03 p.m.
Mother
Hello,
I talked to Mom this evening. She's on an upswing. It's my personal opinion that she is bipolar. She wants to talk about the problems I have with her that started a few years ago. I guess it will be a surprise to her to hear that it did not start a few years ago, but rather when I was born. I don't even know what I would tell her. What is my problem with her? Ah, she's negative. I don't trust her. She doesn't take the blame for anything that goes wrong in her presence. She expects people to like her just because they are related. She expects people to wait on her hand and foot because she has various ailments. Mind you she runs around like a chicken with it's head cut off and surprise ... she's tired. She claims to have a memory problem and then tells you you are remembering it wrong. She thinks she's an excellent driver and that she never caused any of the accidents she was in. She thinks her problems started when Dad died. Denial! She's a yeller. I'm too old to be yelled at. Mind you she really had to work up to it, but lately we've worked up to it a few times. She will hang up with me on the phone. She gets majorily attached to people she hardly knows. And she likes to play that "I know nothing" card. Yeah, right. She's needy. My parents were codependant when Dad was still alive and I'll bet my mother doesn't know that's a bad thing. She's looking for a replacement. It can not be me. I can't handle her. I'm so far on the edge that I don't even know if I make this stuff up just to dislike her. I guess it really boils down to I don't trust her with me or my children.
dd1 went on vacation with her. Every single time she called she was upset, very upset. Mother got mad at her for things that weren't even dd1's fault. She expected her to read a map and not make mistakes. She expected her to check for traffic cause Mother's neck is bad. Should she be driving and should my daughter know when the traffic is clear enough? It's just common sense. Lacking.
I don't know. I'm a gutless wonder. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I don't want the relationship. I've said I don't, but she came back anyway and I didn't want to make a scene. And who tells their mother to go away?