2007-06-21 10:47 a.m.
Broke
This week doesn't seem to be getting better. I thought I'd cheer up since it's my birthday week, but maybe this year is not my year. Hopefully it's just the week.
It seems my bad mood has spread on to dh. Though he tells me he is fine and he is never grumpy. He mirrors my feelings very well. I wish he didn't. I wish he could cheer me up. He wishes the same of me.
So we argued last night for no apparent reason. I wasn't even that mad. I was a little ticked about the (percieved) lack of thought regarding my birthday, but ... well it wasn't mad enough to argue for as long and loud as we did. And then he says things just to say them. Or so he says. Honestly I think he means most of it, except when he's trying to goat me. I truly didn't know what to say when we were done. And then I broke down. And I do mean broke. I still feel broke. Is this what it feels like when your marriage is ending? I didn't think we were any more broke than usual, but I felt different this time. At least he held me. I didn't think he would. I wasn't sure I wanted him to until he did. We made up, but I still feel very ..... sad. I guess.
Maybe my hormones. Maybe his. Maybe it's something that isn't said. Maybe it's something that was. I just don't know.